Jealousy vs Envy: What Sets These Powerful Emotions Apart

Jealousy and envy are emotions that are often used interchangeably in everyday conversations. However, each term has a unique meaning, and understanding the difference between jealousy and envy can help you accurately describe your feelings and work on resolving personal issues.

Both jealousy and envy are associated with negative emotions and can adversely affect your relationships and mental health. In our guide, we will explain the meaning of jealousy vs. envy, review the symptoms and consequences of struggling with these emotions, and share a few tips to help you manage jealousy and envy.

What Is Jealousy?

Jealousy is an emotion you may feel when you perceive a threat to something you possess. Traditionally, jealousy is associated with romantic relationships—for instance, you may feel jealous when your partner is paying attention to someone else. Nonetheless, you can feel jealous in your platonic and professional relationships as well—you may worry that a third party is endangering something you value, whether it is a friendship or a job.

While jealousy is often described as a negative feeling, it is a normal reaction that may prompt you to work on your relationships and communicate your concerns to the people in your life. That being said, if you feel jealous only on rare occasions, there is no threat to your mental well-being, but constant jealousy can become a problem, leading to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

What Is Envy?

Envy is an emotion you may feel when you lack something another person has, whether it is a material possession or an intangible attribute. There are two types of envy—benign and malicious. If you feel envious but still wish well to the person you envy without it affecting your relationship with them, your envy is benign. However, when you feel hatred toward the individual you envy and wish to harm, your envy has turned malicious.

Just like jealousy, envy is a natural emotion—it is quite common to compare yourself to others and covet what you do not have. In some cases, envy can be good for you—it may motivate you to do better and achieve more. You got passed over for a promotion at work in favor of a more qualified colleague? Instead of stewing in your envy, reflect on the skills the other person has and come up with a plan to upgrade your own qualifications.

Key Differences Between Jealousy and Envy

Jealousy and envy are not the same, even if these words are often used as synonyms. Here are the main differences between jealousy and envy:

• You feel threatened by a third party that may take away what you have
• You feel upset that you do not have what another person possesses

How to Recognize Jealousy and Envy

Feeling jealous or envious is normal; however, when these emotions start affecting your behavior and your relationship with the people around you, it may be time to address the problem. Pay attention to the following symptoms of jealousy and envy:

• You raise your voice and feel enraged when you talk to the person who poses a “threat” to you.
• You are hostile toward the person who has what you want
• You have a headache, start sweating, and feel sick to your stomach when you have to face the person you are jealous of
• You tremble, have muscle tension, and feel dizzy when you are around the person you envy
• You accuse your romantic partner of infidelity without a reason
• You spread false rumors about the person you envy to damage their reputation

Tips to Manage Jealousy and Envy

Here is what you can do to deal with jealousy and envy:

• Analyze Your Feelings. Before you blame yourself for feeling jealous or envious, figure out what triggered these emotions—was there a valid reason to feel this way
• Talk to a Friend. You may struggle to be objective when it comes to your own feelings—this is why it is important to have a close friend to open up to. An outsider’s perspective will be valuable
• Focus on the Positives. Instead of concentrating on the negative emotions you feel, try to find a silver lining—for example, if your friend got a new high-paying job, be happy for them and feel inspired to polish your resume and apply for similar positions
• Communicate With the Person Who Upsets You. Whether you feel jealous, have a conversation with the person who “triggered” you. For instance, if you are jealous of your romantic partner, tell them what bothers you—maybe you will discover there was no reason to be jealous in the first place
• Reach Out to a Therapist. Sometimes, you will need a professional to help you cope with negative emotions. A certified therapist will teach you how to handle jealousy and envy so that these feelings do not ruin your life

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Overcoming Jealousy and Envy With Mental Health Center of San Diego